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Early in 1998, if
you had asked me to describe myself, nudist would
not have occurred to me. Eight months ago I still
would have been hesitant to call myself a
nudist-in-process. Now, here I am,
"naked-in-front-of-the-computer" and writing about
my new nudist lifestyle for all the world. For me,
the change was dramatic, profound, and personally
transforming.
Becoming a nudist
involved a process of self-exploration and
reflection. It began as a solo endeavor, expanded
to include my husband, then a world of Internet
friends, and at the last my children. Although my
first "real" social nude experience occurred only
last spring, I feel like nudism has been part of
my life forever. I share my experiences and look
forward to being nude in social situations. All
this in less than a year?!
Yes and no. Yes,
many of these changes have occurred in just a few
months. But no, because I realized that in my
heart I have been a nudist for at least 30 years.
I have clear memories of being young, happy, and
nude, skinny dipping or playing in the sand.
When I was eleven
with a friend named Jody we went out with our
mothers, my grandmother, and another woman. The
four grown-ups disappeared after telling Jody and
me to wait in the car. It was a beautiful summer
day, warm and sunny. The woods beckoned us.
Somehow we got out of our clothes and out of the
car. We fashioned some nature dance with elaborate
steps and lots of "bottom bumping." We were so
wrapped up in what we were doing, we never noticed
the return of the four grown-ups. We looked up
just in time to see four chins collectively fall
to the ground and horrified looks replace
previously smiling faces.
We were told
several times how bad we were. But when we pressed
the issue, they could never tell us what we had
done wrong. Taking our clothes off is wrong? No,
we do that every night before our bath. Dancing in
the woods naked? That might not be socially
acceptable, but we were in a secluded location
where no one saw us. Finally, they settled on
embarrassment. "You embarrassed me," said my
grandmother. "That is what you did wrong."
For years that
lesson framed my activities. If taking my clothes
off would embarrass someone, then I should not do
it. But I eagerly joined in situations which would
not be embarrassing.
Here's an
example. Years later, at a college fraternity
party, there must have been 30 of us who sneaked
into the university pool one midnight. No one had
suits, no one cared. We swam, we lounged, we
talked. It was less sexually charged than the
party at the frat house. No one was sneaking off
to the bedrooms upstairs.
For the record,
when I met Tony, who became my husband, I fell in
love and never looked back--20 years now. He and I
have always enjoyed being nude together; but until
recently, our nude activities were pretty
traditional. We slept nude, read, watched
television, but rarely ventured beyond the bedroom
door. Our children often joined us in television
or reading, so they saw us nude. But doing
something non-traditional, like having a nude
dinner, didn't occur to us.
Fast forward to
1998. I had the opportunity to visit with a high
school friend whom I had not seen in 25 years. We
had a terrific time laughing, telling stories, and
looking at yearbooks. But like the old song, his
happy mask hid an unhappy person. On the surface,
he had everything he wanted: nice home, good job,
fabulous car, lots of friends. But one thing he
said stuck with me: "I am not happy with my body."
Now, this guy had
no reason for that. At 180 cm he is a trim 77 kg.
He plays tennis four times a week, is in terrific
shape, and is much better looking than he ever was
in high school.
But I could not
get his comment out of my mind. It prompted me to
wonder how I felt about my own body. I could stand
to lose a few pounds, but I did not hate myself. I
turned to my source of all information, the
Internet, and began to read up on body acceptance.
This quickly led to nudism and naturism, so I
began to read about them too. As I did, my
thoughts moved forwards and backwards. Forwards to
"I would like to try this" and backwards to "I
have tried this, but a long time ago."
In May I said
to Tony, "I have a very strong urge to spend an
extended period of time nude with you." He looked
surprised but said OK. That very night, after we
put the kids to bed, we decided to play nude
backgammon. To be honest, we only managed to play
about half a game before the love hormones
overcame us. Something about being nude, I guess,
led us to revert to a traditional activity!
But I was not
ready to give up. That weekend, we arranged for
the kids to spend the night with some friends.
Once they left the house, at 14:00, our plan was
to take off our clothes and stay that way until
the kids returned at 10:00 the next day. Because
we had a longer nude time ahead of us, and even at
our most passionate knew we could not make love
for 20 hours, we were able to pace ourselves. We
did some laundry, watched a movie, read, and
chatted. We went out to dinner wearing very loose
clothes to keep the nude feeling. As soon as we
got home, they came off again. In the morning we
cooked breakfast and read the Sunday paper.
That weekend
experiment was transforming. Suddenly clothes felt
confining and restricting. I wanted to be nude,
and I wanted to talk about it. Tony and I
discussed our experience, but we felt like the
blind leading the blind. How did others feel? What
were their experiences?
I discovered an
Internet mailing list and signed up. I lurked for
a week, then dived in with a question about
sunscreen. A wonderful thing happened: I was
welcomed to the group like a special friend.
Suddenly I could ask all the questions I wanted
and people would reply, honestly and fully. I
started corresponding off-list with a few people
who shared many of my thoughts and questions. My
nudist world had expanded from my bedroom to my
house and suddenly to the world. I went from
knowing no nudists to knowing hundreds. It was
terrific.
Meanwhile, Tony
and I continued to explore our nude time together.
We have an outdoor hot tub and shower. Instead of
running to get dressed after emerging from either
one, we would sit on the deck and let the air dry
us. (A fence and trees provide privacy.) We began
to eat dinner nude occasionally. I watched the
entire NBA playoffs sans clothes and not in the
bedroom. I discovered NIFOC (naked in front of the
computer).
In June we went
to Denver. We made a deal that when we entered the
hotel room, the clothes came off. What to do on
our one free afternoon was very important to us.
We decided to visit Mountain Air Ranch, a family
nudist resort. How important was nudism becoming
to me? I passed up a chance to visit the Figure
Skating Hall of Fame!
Everything I had
read was true: going to Mountain Air I was nervous
at first, but that quickly passed. No one cared
what we looked like or who we were, but everyone
was friendly. Within minutes we felt relaxed and
comfortable. When one fellow talked about "us" as
nudists, I realized yes, I am in this group. I am
a nudist.
I began to think
of nudism as part of my life. I wanted
opportunities to be nude with others, and not just
on a trip. But how to handle nudism with my
daughter, 7, and
son, 10? My initial thought was not to involve
them. After Colorado, I realized that was not
realistic. To be nude only when they were in bed
or at friends' houses would not be practical. I
also recognized that many of our activities are
family activities. It would be a dramatic change
to get a baby sitter every time we wanted to go to
the beach! Besides, isn't nudism supposed to be a
family experience?
The solution came
naturally. Shortly afterwards, we were all in the
hot tub together, my husband and I nude (which has
always been our custom) but the kids in suits. My
son was fussing with a knot on the string of his
suit, so I suggested he just take it off. He did,
and my daughter soon did the same. My son
immediately realized how good it felt in the warm
water without anything on. That led to a
discussion of being nude with others. Then we told
them about our visit to Mountain Air. They were
both very interested and appropriately curious. We
showed them a brochure, with pictures, and
answered their questions. My son was very
interested in the concept of a club, wondering if
there were any near us. So we showed him the
brochure for Cedar Waters Village in New
Hampshire, about an hour from where we are in
Maine. Tony and I visited the place ourselves to
check it out, then returned about two weeks later
with our children. After that, my son told me that
he was proud of being a nudist. My daughter seems
oblivious to the title but enjoys the experience.
I regularly get asked, "When can we go back to the
skinny-dipping place?"
So that's how we
went from a clothed family to nudists. We each
choose when and where we want to be nude. I often
have dinner nude while my husband wears a T-shirt
or is even fully clothed. My daughter, a natural,
is frequently nude around the house, while my son
is usually nude just in the hot tub.
I am still
surprised by how far and how quickly I have come.
At first I was intrigued with the idea of a nude
cruise or vacation--a once-a-year special event.
After going to Mountain Air, I realized that a
little more often to be nude would be nice, but it
was still in the category of recreation. Now I
understand I have a need to be nude. At times it
is a physical need, at times it is a stress
reliever. Nudity with others is lots of fun, but
nudity at home with the family is also very
important to me.
The process of
becoming a nudist is not complete. There will be
more I learn and incorporate into my life. I look
forward to visiting different clubs and resorts
and meeting other nudists. But one thing is clear:
nudism is very much a part of my life. A friend
recently commented about my status as a novice
nudist and I gently corrected him: "Not a novice,
just a nudist. Once you're there, you know it,
deep inside the fibre of your unclothed body."
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